I've been thinking a lot about the transition period after a break up. I prop-styled a shoot yesterday and gave the photographer a ride home. He was telling me about how the last time he ended a relationship, he sold everything he owned, moved to another city for four months, and deleted every app on his phone. He showed me proof, a blank blue home screen. He got into meditation and psychedelics. I told him I just got drunk and horny for two months. He said "that's all?" I said no. It's been longer. He said I should try new things that make me happy, like maybe I should learn tantric or take a ceramics class. When I first broke up with my ex I spent a lot of time sitting on my friends porch, alone in the sun drinking rose, staring at grass, taking pictures of my thighs. I ate exclusively microwave food and trader joes salads. I walked around life like the meme of that painted Victorian lady with a sword through her neck and the text below that said "I'm fine." You get a free pass after a breakup. You can cry during work meetings, cover your face and ask potential clients to please not look at you. You can drink too much and feel too little. Even morals get blurred. But the free pass runs out and when it does you realize you're starting again. And it's kind of nice.Because anything can come from a clean start. It's as bright and blue as an empty phone's home screen.